Landis Simon

BREAKING NEWS

Another thought-to-be-hardcore BadBoy inmate has just broken down. Admitting that just as much as he misses his freedom, he misses the presence of a woman in his life. Some pretty candid questions were asked of Mr. Simon, and the answers he gave will astound you. When asked these questions, these were his replies.

When asked...in what ways has this incarceration affected you? His response was, "Of course I miss my family beyond the ability that mere words have to express how much, but I've got to tell you, I've shed more than my share of tears just thinking about how much I took for granted my freedom and the presence of a significant woman in my life!" When asked..."What about a woman do you miss the most?," the response was, "I miss everything! Their views and arguments designed for me to have no win in. Their bossy attitude, their sensitivity, and their manipulation. Their smell. Their pedicures. Their softness and the intimacy. Their fundamental problem solving and the control they bring to a man's life. Their laughter combined with that look they give you when she wants you to know you're making her happy :)"

Wen asked of the type he usually pursues? He said, "I don't have 'a type'. Before my misfortune, meaning my incarceration, most of my dates or relationships were either with Caucasian or Latin American women...but Asian, African American, English, it doesn't matter. If we click, we click!"

When "what do you look for in a woman?" was asked, he replied, "I look for a woman who I think can be my best friend first and foremost. I feel we must be friends first to truly become comfortable enough to be and show unfiltered exactly who we are to each other. I look for a woman who is not too complicated but a simple woman with simple needs and desires, and yet still filled with substance and surprises. I look for someone who likes to do all the things that couples do, like bowl and go dancing or just sitting back at home watching romantic movies like; How To Loose A Man in 10 Days, with Mathew McConaughey & Kate Hudson, even though I know that I'll have to watch some crying being done and accept my whack across the chest just for being a guy when watching those."

That concluded the questioning. Shocking, wasn't it? Clearly he is not the man his situation suggests to you he is. For the devout hardcore mischievous men of the world, hearing the comments of value placed on a woman will be disappointing. But for that one daring, compatible and exceptional woman that found herself asking herself, "What if?" and "should I introduce myself to this guy?" To you...I humble myself and apologize for being one of the many men who were thoughtless enough to commit crimes and leave our women lonely and barely getting by. Though I can't fix every heart that's been hurt from that, with you I can promise a respectful friendship full of endless smiling and days of awkward interruptions at work from comforting thought-consuming day dreaming, if you act on that urge you have to write me. If that's something you can handle, let's exchange letters.

Sincerely,
Landis

Landis Simon #B39891
PO Box 999
Canton, IL 61520

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Listed: 09/18/11
Changed: 10/25/11

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